Vanilla Wife’s Dilemma
A wife seeking advice writes to “Prudie,” Slate’s advice columnist:
My husband has some kinky sexual desires that I don’t want to deal with—they just aren’t my thing. He’s proposed that he visit a dominatrix …
She replies:
… Letting him go might make your marriage happier because he won’t be asking you to tell him how naughty he’s been. If you can trust that his visits are limited to playing out scenarios that make you gag, then just think of it as therapy with a whip.
The whole thing: I can’t fulfill my husband’s fetish fantasies. Should I let him visit a dominatrix?
What would be your advice? Is infidelity as much a matter of mind as body?
Originally posted 2010-12-18 09:02:46. Republished by Blog Post Promoter
Related posts:
You said:
“Is infidelity as much a matter of mind as body?”
By even ASKING this question you are making the assumption that sexual “fidelity” is of paramount importance in a good marriage. I would suggest to you that healthy, stable relationships very often do accommodate erotic contact with others outside the marriage. Even people who don’t consider themselves polyamorous have things like the “100 mile rule” and convention sex.
The reality is non-monogamy is more prevalent than monogamy. And we humans somehow manage to deal with this already; why shouldn’t we apply it to our BDSM relationships too?
A truly pro domme will NOT engage in ANY form of sex.The old days of letting him touch himself are GONE.
A TRUE domme doesn’t allow this and it’s against the law. She will leave him wanting. There are lots of other
themes to fill an hour. If it’s not in you to do these things and I assume you have tried. Give him a once a month or two month to go SEE someone. To further his humiliation. Have him designate who you are seeing and tell him You wish to talk with her during his session.
I hate to admit; but I do not know about
the “100 mile rule”.
Would you mind?
A rather odd claim that infidelity is OK if you are more than one hundred miles distance from your lover.
Something quite distinct from polyamory, polyfidelity.