Relationships Shouldn’t Stagnate
Sometimes in a relationship, a submissive will rethink the rationality of why he or she got into such a context. I’ve experienced it, and I’ve seen it happen many a time. I’m not saying this is definitely what is going on in your situation as I do not have the particulars, and I’m not a psychologist by any stretch of the imagination, but there does come a time quite often when someone starts to wonder about whether or not this is the right path that he or she has taken. And I’ve seen that same questioning come from dommes as well.
In such situations, my experience has shown me that the “other” side needs to recognize it and talk to the submissive to see if things are going the right direction. Quite often, it is easier to ignore that things are going wrong and then go along with the belief that there are other fish in the sea and that you can get along no matter what because you are the dominant side of the relationship. Unfortunately, that seems to be the direction that most of the problematic ones take, and the relationships sour and quickly dissipate.
This is a very common crisis for a relationship to go through, and it actually is a good sign in many cases. Often even good relationships will get shaky periodically as the couple work their way into a deeper level of commitment. Think of it as a renegotiation phase. Now and then the terms and parameters of even very positive relationships have to be renegotiated. If you don’t survive the renegotiation process, it generally means the death of the partnership. Still, survival rates are high, especially when there is genuine love and mutual respect to motivate the partners to reach an agreement.
A relationship which isn’t honestly mutual is fatally flawed. Some people have enough integrity to struggle to keep the relationship real. They’re the lucky ones who are most likely to gain real satisfaction in their partnerships.
Old usenet discussion.
Originally posted 2011-01-04 14:20:12. Republished by Blog Post Promoter
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I have been submissive to a woman for 4 years now in a 24/7 capacity. I think we have perhaps been lucky not to have any more ‘difficult’ times. We have always understood our relationship in terms of me being caught in her metaphorical spider’s web: once trapped, never any chance of escape. This has strengthened my submission over the years.
I have always beleived that in a good relationship both partners strive to bring out the best in eachother, without cotrolling it. Both are the wings beneath eachothers wings. When people become more than 1+1 that is when magic happens.
It does mean if partners give each other room to grown this will require contineous dialogue and sometimes renegotiation. But that in itself is not unique to an FLR. It is true for any relationship. The main difference, I think, is that due to agreed power imbalance both partners need to be more aware of the negotiation parts required. This does not have to be formal but some may wish it to be.
I want my boy to be the best person he can be, I love it when he shines and grows. I know that feeling is mutual.