When you use the phrase female led relationship, what do you mean?
Do you imagine your girlfriend or wife becoming a dictator over you? Is she cruel? Selfish?
Or does she offer you guidance, using gentle correction to shape your life?
Are you a child who needs to be governed or a man who finds it an erotic thrill?
What does female led relationship mean to you?
Originally posted 2007-12-24 13:42:47. Republished by Blog Post Promoter
Related posts:
I tend not to use the phrase at all. To me, it’s a relationship first and foremost; as such, we each have an equal say. The only power exchange occurs in areas where we agree it should happen.
Even though I am the dom in my relationship, I don’t use this phrase either. I don’t really see myself as “leading” the relationship itself. We build that together. Sometimes I lead and sometimes I follow. I’m on top in either case, but I might just not be out in front
I don’t know how to explain it any better.
I’ve only recently discovered the term, yet I realize that I have lived in a FLR for years. To me the term reflects the basic guidelines that we as a couple follow in our daily lives. She controls the home, the money and the sex. I do my part, accept an allowance and serve her needs.
It’s not a particularly D/s lifestyle, we actually treat each other as equals in many aspects of our life. However, she is more intelligent than I am, and it shows in her decision making, communications.
She is the acknowledged head of the household.
I regard a female led relationship as one where the parties sign a binding agreement, to avoid rebellion or conflict, where the male is legally obligated to obey the female, or else incur very substantial financial penalties. Then the female doesn’t have to worry about catering to his desires, and can do what she wants, and the male will need to adjust to that role. I think the male’s paycheck should be deposited into her account, so that she controls all the money, and once that’s done, their life will be based upon what makes her happy. I think most women would enjoy owning all the income, and would also enjoy a husband whose focus is on her happiness, since the happier she is and the more he pleases her, the more she’ll love him and indulge in some of his desires. If he wants to do all the housework, laundry, ironing, and cooking, and if he makes her happy, she might decide to have him do that all the time. It doesn’t seem like much of a hardship for the wife, in my view. If she likes to cook or do housework herself, then that’s what she’ll do. The whole point is that the woman decides everything. She can decide to do all the housework and cooking herself. The whole point is for the wife always to do what she wants, and for the husband to always do what the wife wants. That eliminates any conflict and any need to compromise on the part of the wife. The relationship will be exactly what she wants. Most women would like to change their husbands some. In a female led relationship, she can change him instantly and permanently. I don’t see it affecting a relationship, unless there is conflict. If husband wants to watch one TV show, but the wife wants to watch another, they’ll watch what the wife wants. If the husband wants to play golf, but she wants him at home, then he’ll stay at home. In most relationships there isn’t much conflict, and when there is, it can be a problem. In a female led relationship there would never be any conflict, since she always makes the decisions.
For the male/husband, the enjoying of being in a female-led relationship would be incredibly pleasurable simply because he knows he’s in one. The wife simply controls all the money and makes all the decisions in the relationship, to maximize her happiness, whatever those decisions might be. The husband’s role is to make her happy.
The woman can impose her will — if she wants to. In some relationships the dominant woman is a control freak. Nearly everything has to be done her way. In others, much more interesting to me, the dominant woman’s power is not always exercised. Much of the time she accepts that things are done the way the man wants. This may be because she thinks his way is good, because she wants to give him his way to please him, because she doesn’t mind one way or the other, or because she doesn’t want to be in control for some other reason.
This can add spice to the relationship. Jack is planning a party, and Jill is leaving the whole thing to him. He knows she can overrule him at any time, but she’s giving him a free rein for now. Will she intervene at some stage? Will she be pleased with the result? To what extent will she go along with his plans during the party? And what will she do when the party is over?