What would you say are the greatest barriers to successful F/m relationships (any kind). In general, in your own life? Do you have plans, strategies or hopes for overcoming these?
Originally posted 2008-03-16 15:37:17. Republished by Blog Post Promoter
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Ummm meeting someone?:)
I am lucky in that I have a wife who is quite open and happy in the role of leader in our marriage. This is not just in our sexuality but in every aspect of our life together.
Despite having dreamt of just this situation for most of my adult life and through two provious marriages, still, after five years of marriage, I can occasionally feel a twinge of resentment when she hands down a demand in an abrupt or unfeeling manner.
I realise that my reactions in those moments are not what I have desired so deeply. They also cause tensions between us because for her I am sending out mixed signals. On one hand I am totally supportive that she takes full control then I have those rare but significant rebelions.
What are my plans to overcome this? It is like trying to reach perfection, I just have to keep trying harder and trying to learn to control those infrequent rebelious feelings and although it is not easy I am getting better but I am not there yet.
In my perosnal experience with my 24-7 subbie, our biggest obstacles is communicating what we want from each other. How we combat this is to write to each other and do research on the lives we wish to strive for. So far, this has worked out brilliantly. We write to each other either on paper or email each other weekly, about goals, thoughts, wants, needs, requests, ect. Of course we talk about everything after reading our letters to each other. I have found writing helpos each of us organise our thoughts, and stay on track, especially if the issue is a hot button for either of us.
Another thing that gets in the way is ego, his male bravado can be challenging at times for both of us. I find creative and at times difficult ways to get past the ego. Humbling punishments seem to work best for him. He loves attention so when he gets out of hand he is made to go to the corner of the room, or I walk away and ignoe him if we are in public. This quickly corrects the behavior(most of the time,lol) He doesn’t forget he is submissive, he just needs an occasional reminder of his place. Once this happens he is grateful.
Being in a FLR has greatly improved our relationship and my partner says he is happier than he has ever been in his life.