It takes “balls” to stand up to your boss. As long as it is done with respect, a good boss will appreciate it. You don’t have to grit your teeth when you say “Yes, sir.” or “Yes, ma’am.” — Unless you are profit sharing.

Back to topic. Most of my bosses were male. I’ve not noticed a dominant streak in any of them towards the opposite gender although some were more paranoid control freaks than others.

Mrs. Mule had almost exclusively female bosses. She hasn’t noticed dominance in any of them either towards their male subordinates. However, she finds that female bosses can be more “catty” and “petty” than male bosses. There was a lot more “high school” antics particularly if there are a number of female bosses that from a clique.

I’ve been able to resolve the issue of being a boss and a submissive. I’ve had some very dynamic women working for me. My preferred leadership style is based on “wind them up and watch them go.”

By “wind them up” I mean giving them the tools, training, equipment and guidance to get the job done, and then stand back and watch them do it. This means I have to do a lot of things FOR my subordinates and TRUST them to do them. These are two traits a good sub has.

I tend to subordinate myself in many ways to my subordinates. I like the variety women bring to the job. They think differently than men do. Figuring out what motivates people and working that into the job is the fun part of management.

My current boss is a man, and while I sometimes get the sense that *he* might prefer it if I were more submissive to him, the fact that he is my BOSS means that I have to defer to him when he makes a decision. Yes, there have been times when I felt he was making the wrong decision, but if he makes the decision despite my arguments, then I let it go (even if I’m covertly gritting my teeth while I do it).

The major difference that I see in the workplace between myself and women who are not dominant is that I am much more willing to make my arguments to my superiors in the first place. I used to be like my female coworkers–the “don’t rock the boat/suffer in silence” type. Now I am the only woman in my workplace who will tell it like it is to our male boss. (And I don’t mean whining or bitching; it’s more of a putting-all-my-cards-on-the-table straightforwardness when there’s a problem.) I suspect it means that I’m happier at work than I’d otherwise be, because it means that my concerns get addressed… albeit not always in the way that I’d like best.