Female Led Relationships

As I’m documenting elsewhere I’m currently semi-engaged in a tentative search for a local top (my prior relationship ended last fall).

I was wondering if any of you have used CollarMe, Craigslist, Alt. Bondage and the like to find a dominant or submissive playmate or life partner.

What luck did you have?

I’m sure you have stories sad and bad – any funny ones?

Originally posted 2008-02-25 07:14:32. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

You want to meet a dominant woman.

Ok, fair enough. Do you sabotage your chances? Are you too inhibited to greet a woman? So horribly shy that you can’t even say “Hi.”?

Isn’t that a subtle form of selfishness? Isn’t it essentially demanding that she do all the social exertion? Is there some reason she should feel so inclined?

From what many dominant women write on the web they expect many of the same courtesies and amenities that vanilla women do when being courted by a man.

That means that you can’t be a wallflower and expect luck. Besides your shyness is just a form of ego protection isn’t it?

That foolish belief that it is better to have nothing than to have a woman say “No.”?

Originally posted 2008-01-22 16:15:39. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

From the ancient times of usenet groups like soc.subculture.bondage-bdsm.femdom and soc.subculture.bondage-bdsm people have pretended their kinky sex fantasies are their real lives. Femdom discussion forums are sometimes thick with men pretending to be domes or at least retailing dreams as reality.

No surprise that this will to prettify a frustrated life should migrate to loving female authority blogs.

I remember following one man’s story as he told of becoming steadily more subjugated by his wife. Suddenly the familiarity of it registered. He was translating trite female domination erotica into bogus autobiography.

And I note some blogs have maybe five posts they repeat over and over again. Typically of being “bad” – sassy or thoughtless – and being punished. Often the punishment is described with the hungry detail of a true fetishist. But the “Mistress Wife” seems just an abstraction. Not a flesh and blood woman. More an automaton of power and punishment.

Sometimes I mark it as an inability to capture a relationship in prose. Other times I feel varying levels of skepticism.

Writing erotica as a diary isn’t a fault as such.

But.

Increasingly others – particularly men who want a female led marriage or relationship – turn to these blogs as sources of advice, inspiration, guidance. To them the blog author is proving an ideal to be matched and giving them a pattern they seek to emulate.

This is why LFA and FLR blogs should be read with caution. As should anything about sexual relationships by unknown people. (Including of course this blog.)

Sure there are plenty of honorable femdom bloggers but be careful in seeking to make your life match some lonely man’s fantasies.

Originally posted 2007-09-01 09:27:53. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

Within the BDSM community slave contracts are a common topic. Many have been written. Some quite bad. And nobody knows how many such contracts have been lived up to.

Within the perhaps less kinky and demanding realm of female led relationships should both parties perhaps craft some set of rule and regulations? Written statements of the roles including obligations both male and female have?

Such formal agreements could be considered a second set of wedding vows.

The real danger with such summaries, like many attempt at regulation is in unnecessary specificity, cumbersome complexity. But some may benefit by establishing boundaries clearly at the beginning. And any contract can be amended.

Earlier: Interspousal Agreements.

Originally posted 2008-04-30 13:49:22. Republished by Blog Post Promoter